Being neurodivergent often means having a more sensitive/vulnerable nervous system. Here are some herbs you can turn to in times of acute stress to take a bit of the edge off.

There are two main categories of herbs I want to discuss as a support for dealing with stress, so I’m going to divide this post into two parts. The first group are called nervines, and they are for acute situations when you are feeling stressed out and are trying to calm down. The second group are called adaptogens, and they help build your body’s capacity to handle stress better over time. I will focus on nervines today and on adaptogens in part two. 

I’d also like to state up front that ideally, you want to be working with herbs that match your personal constitution. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all herb for stress that works for everyone, or even for all neurodivergent people. For example, if you are that person that is always freezing and reaching for that extra sweater, you don’t want to be taking an herb that is just going to make you more cold. You need to warm up! 

And since people feel stress differently in their bodies, you want to select your herbs based on your personal experience of stress. But since we can’t do that kind of customization in an article like this, I’m going to stick with some very safe herbs that still tend to be highly effective for a broad range of people. 

Chamomile (Matricaria recutita) 
Have you ever wondered why chamomile is always around? It’s because it is helpful for so many things, is super safe and works for just about anyone’s constitution (unless you’re allergic). But this can make it seem so ordinary and ho-hum that it’s easy to overlook it as a potent helper—and then we spend way too much money and create a huge eco footprint to try some exotic herb from the other side of the world instead. Rethink that strategy! 

To really get the full benefits of chamomile, you will want to make a very strong infusion with a good quality herb and steep it for at least 30 minutes. That will unleash its stronger muscle relaxing properties, soothe the nervous system, and even relieve the pain of menstrual cramps or digestive upset. Use multiple tea bags if you have them, and if this strategy works for you, consider buying it in bulk as it will save you a lot of money and the loose herb will be even more effective. This is a particularly great herb for people who get really tense when they are stressed out. 
A great choice for children too!

Rose Petals (Rosa canina, R. multiflora, R. rugosa ) 
Rose is a wonderful herb to turn to if stress leaves you feeling vulnerable and unprotected and just wanting to curl up on  ball on your bed and shut out the world. Call on its thorns as a shield from all harm! That’s what the little critters do when they take shelter under a rose bush.
The smell alone can help bring about an instant shift in the body. Because of its soothing and anti-inflammatory effect, it is also a great choice when stress is contributing to systemic inflammation in the body (or spirit) that is agitated and wearing you down. It has a drying effect that is helpful for anyone who is on the damp side (carrying around a bit of extra water perhaps, which can also show up as thing like looser stools or leaky gut). Consider pairing with hawthorn if you have heightened sensitivity and/or get heart palpitations when stressed.

Linden leaves and flowers (Tilia americana & cordata) 
If you get hot and agitated when you are stressed out, give linden a try. Like rose, it has a lovely floral scent that can be instantly soothing. Almost everyone thinks it tastes food too. For those with ADHD, it will help even out the side effects from things like Ritalin and Adderal. Since stress can also contribute to autoimmune flare-ups and snacking on less than ideal comfort food, it’s good to know that linden also supports those with the nerve pain associated with things like fibromyalgia and MS as well as the pain that can come from eating foods that are not ideal for your body.  

Linden is moistening, and the longer you infuse it, the more moistening it will get (you can even infuse it overnight!). If you physically run dry, or have nerves that are hot and frazzled, linden will help. This is another good choice for the kiddos. 

Tulsi (Ocimum sanctum, O. tenuiflorum)
Warming, drying and oh so relaxing, tulsi is the herb of choice when stress leads to sugar cravings or compulsive use of drugs and alcohol. Tulsi is also an adaptogen, so we will discuss it more in Part 2, but just be aware that those benefits are going to be cumulative and you will not be ‘cured’ by drinking a single cup of it. 

It does have some immediate effects though and is often associated with just generally lifting the mood and releasing anxiety. The taste and smell are very appealing to most people (kind of like a sweet and spicy basil, which it is related to). It also has some digestive actions that can be helpful when stresses impacting digestion.

Tulsi is safe for almost anyone of any age, but if you are on medications that lower blood sugar, be aware that tulsi can amplify those effects, so be sure to monitor carefully under the supervision of a doctor.
***
This is not an exhaustive list of nerviness by any means. If stress gives you insomnia, definitely check out my article “Herbs the Support Better Sleep.” 
Just enter the title into the search bar on my blog and it will get you right to it.

And keep in mind that while these are all teas you can get immediate benefit from, you will get other cumulative benefits over time and with larger quantities. If you really want to do a deep dive into finding your herbal allies, consider spending a lot of time with one of these herbs for a month. Try having a quart of tea of your chosen herb every day—that’s four cups.

I have one of those carafes that fits a quart of liquid and it stays hot all day (you can even make it the night before, then put in a thermos to carry with you all day instead of water). And keep in mind that tea does not have to be hot—that’s good to remember as the warmer months approach. When it gets really hot, I like mixing certain teas (lemon balm would be an excellent one to look into when it’s hot and you’re stressed out) with some club soda and serving with ice. So refreshing!

And if tea is not your thing, you could also try tinctures. You can carry a little bottle around with you everywhere you go and just take a dropperful maybe 3x/day or so. They cost more than tea, but they are super convenient and they are also super easy to make yourself if you are so inclined.

I have said it before and I will say it again—herbs are a lot like people. Even if on paper they check all the right boxes, you may not necessarily have chemistry with everything you try out. So do your research, keep experimenting, and in time you will find your herbal allies. 

Here’s to building more resilience in these challenging and stressful times with the help of our herbal partners!

Note: This is not medical advice. I am a neurodivergent coach, educator and holistic herbalist, and I do not diagnose or treat any condition. The information here is for educational purposes only and to share my own experiences as an autistic woman.

Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week?
Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com

Having trouble sleeping? You’re not alone. Here are my six favorite practices for neurodivergent folks that really help.

There are a lot of people writing a lot of things about sleep these days, and there’s a good chance this isn’t the first article you have read in the last year on how to improve your sleep. I’m going to assume that you are already aware of how many of us are simply not getting enough sleep (neurodivergent folks in particular), and just get right to the heart of which things I have found most helpful. If you’re looking for something more in-depth about why neurodivergent people in particular struggle with sleep, click here for an in-depth article from Neurodivergent Insights.

Here are my top tips:

1.) Re-establish your circadian rhythm. Herbs like ashwaghanda can really help with this, but if you are allergic to nightshades that is not going to be an option for you (sorry about that—I’m allergic too). Another way to do this that won’t cost you anything is to go out and see the sunrise every morning. I finally got around to trying this earlier this year (I really had no excuse not to because these days I work from home 95% of the time). It takes about 15 minutes total to walk through the woods to where I can really see the sun (assuming it’s not all clouded over) and then back to the house.

Wow! This really works. I noticed a difference within days. It was especially helpful for me in falling asleep sooner. I’m still waking up some during the night, but getting to sleep a lot sooner goes a long way. My husband and I typically have our coffee/tea on the sofa together when we first wake up, so we are simply cutting that a little shorter and continuing to talk and go at our own pace as we make our way towards the sun.

In a few months, the sun will be up before we are, but my understanding is that if you get out in sunlight for 10-15 minutes at least before 10 am you will still get these benefits. I’ll keep you posted!

Of course mornings are not always this leisurely and this is not realistic for everyone. On days when I have to be out and about early, I do try to find a few moments to at least connect with the sun. Where is it? If I’m outside, can I feel it on my face? If I’m driving, I know I have a tendency to see it as a nuisance (I am very sensitive to light) and get annoyed if the sun is in my eyes. But this practice of taking a moment to connect with it instead of experiencing it as an obstacle has really helped me.

Whatever chaotic, stressful events may be happening in my morning, there’s the sun, just doing its thing. Connecting with that helps me not get too caught up in that stress and remember that I am part of something much bigger. Aligning with the sun’s predictable rhythm is regulating and grounding. And that’s good for good sleep!
​
If you can’t get outside before 10, getting out during your lunch break or whenever you have a break in the day will also be helpful. Natural light sends powerful cues to our body that it is time to be awake and active. The more of those cues we get, the more receptive we will be to the cues for when it is time to slow down and get some sleep.

2.) Avoid getting amped up before bedtime - When I was a little kid, my dad would come into our rooms at bedtime and we would kneel beside the bed and say our prayers with him. In retrospect, I don’t think this was the best time of day to do that, sweet a the gesture was. I would start thinking about all the problems in the world and everyone who needed help and I would lie in bed and worry about everything.

Now that I am an adult, I have learned that what I need in the evening is to focus on things that are going to help me wind down. It is going to take me a while.

Something that has really helped me is coming up with my cut-off point in the evening for when I will use electronics. That includes phone calls, texting, social, media, email….everything! I am like a little kid who can get really amped up and then have a lot of trouble winding down. Unexpected news, whether positive or negative, can make me really hyper in a way that is not conducive to sleep! And while almost every email I get is pretty ho-hum, it only takes one to get me going, and that’s one too many. So I am pretty strict about adhering to this time. I also start transitioning with books or audiobooks. After a certain point in the evening, even the books need to be more on the calming side. A little bit interesting, but nothing too suspenseful. History books are my go-to.

3.) Make your room dark at bedtime. My room is a dark place. My phone does not go there. I do have Alexa, and this is how I play audiobooks before sleeping. But even Alexa I have tucked away, out of sight, so there is no little beam of blue light visible anywhere. The light on my HEPA filter  has also been covered (just be sure to check for when the filter needs replacing if you do this). I do not have blackout curtains because of my severe dust allergies, but when it starts getting light later in the evening and earlier in the morning (we’re just at the beginning of that season now), I sleep with an eye mask that keeps me in total darkness.

The darkness is so important. Light suppresses our melatonin, which cues our sleepiness. But if you are neurodivergent and have sensory processing issues that involve sensitivity to light, this is even more important. I would say critical. I know a lot of people scroll on their phones in bed and that this is especially problematic because blue light is the one that suppresses melatonin the most. If this is a habit you just can’t break, at least adjust your phone settings to block blue light at night.

This process of it getting dark should ideally happen before bedtime. It does get dark gradually outside, so you can simulate this by using light dimmers or just less light in general after a certain time in the evening. And again, be sure to use blue light filters on your screens if you must use screens.

4.) Heating Pad in Bed. This is a 2-for-1. Tension can keep you awake, and heat relaxes tension. But a heating pad will also help energy descend from your head down into your body. A lot of neurodivergent people get stuck in their heads, with thoughts swirling around in circles, keeping us up for hours on end. I find that putting the heating pad just below my neck and covering most of my back is a very effective intervention. As the blood rushes to my core, it feels like a stopper is released from my head so that everything that was stuck up there can finally trickle down. Ahh! Then the sleepiness follows.

5.) Pulse-Dosing Herbs Before Bedtime. If you didn’t read my article last week, that was what it was all about. You start with some tincture with your sleepy-time herbs an hour before bedtime, then a half hour before, then right at bedtime. This allows for a more natural and gradual slowing down process. A lot of people find it helpful to set a timer for when to start pulse-dosing. You can customize your herbs depending on what your specific issues are—there is not a one-size-fits-all herb that is good for everyone and everything. Read the last post for how to find the right herbs for you.

6.) Have a Plan for Waking up in the Night - If you do wake up in the night, it can make all the difference if you have a plan in place. The important thing is that you don’t lie there letting your thoughts go all over the place, worrying about how awful everything is going to be in the morning because you haven’t gotten enough sleep. Instead, you need to occupy your mind with other things to help it go back to sleep and not trapped in worry-mode. Here’s the protocol I use.

First, I have my go-to herbal tinctures or capsules on the bedside table. Then, I’ll pull up an audiobook on Alexa, one that I’ve heard before, has a calm narrator whose voice has a steady volume, and is just interesting enough but not riveting. This is similar to my night time routine with audiobooks, but in this case I prefer a book I have heard before so that I won’t be worried about missing anything when I fall back to sleep.

My very favorite trick though is this alphabet word game. I don’t even know what this technique is called or who came up with it. But it works so well when I wake up in the middle of the night!

I choose a letter of the alphabet, then start coming up with words that start with that letter. I go through the vowels in order. So, for example, If I choose ‘B’ and start with the vowel ‘A,’ the list might be ‘baby, baboon, babble, back, bad, baffle, bag, baggage, ball, banana….’ and so on through the alphabet. Then I move on to B-E words, then B-I, then B-O, etc.

It can take a while, but the alternative for me might be staying wide awake for hours (especially now that I’m in perimenopause). This is much better.

It does take some trial and error to figure out which practices are going to help you the most, but the good news is that there is bound to be something helpful out there if you are willing to do some experimenting. The key is getting convinced that yes, sleep is actually really important and that your body is doing all sorts of critical jobs while you are conked out in bed. Believe it. And if you find something that really knocks you out (oh dear, I think that’s a pun…), feel free to leave a comment below. We can always use more tools in our toolbox!

A lot of us neurodivergent folks have a harder time getting good sleep. Working with certain herbs customized to our individual needs before bedtime (using a specific method called Pulse-Dosing) can be incredibly helpful.

I wish I had a magic herb that could reliably give us all a good night’s sleep. Too many of us are simply not getting enough!

The thing is, we are not all lying in bed awake for the same reasons, so it’s not that simple. There is not a single herb or group of herbs that are right for everyone, or even ones that are right for all neurodivergent people. We may share certain traits/characteristics, but it looks a little different for everyone.

Improving the quality of your sleep typically requires a number of sleep hygiene interventions, but I’m not going to get into all of that in this post (I will get to that next time though). Instead, I’m going to list some of the more common issues that keep neurodivergent people awake and then the herbs that you can work with for those issues. That way, you can get a better idea of which herbs you might want to partner with.

Before I do that though, I do want to share a practice I learned about in herb school that has been incredibly helpful for me and can be useful for anyone. It’s called Pulse-Dosing. The idea is that instead of taking a bunch of herbs right at bedtime or when you wake up in the middle of the night, you start an hour before bedtime with a small dose of your chosen herb/s, then take another small dose half an hour before bedtime, and a final dose right at bedtime.

For reasons that are probably obvious, I do not suggest taking these herbs as tea (unless you have a superhuman bladder). Tinctures work really well, and sometimes capsules can be effective as well. There are some issues with capsules though. Good ones tend to be spendy (like Gaia herbs or Oregon’s Wild Harvest). You could get a capsule machine and make your own, but keep in mind that if you do that you need to know which herbs actually work in capsule form, use your homemade ones within 2-4 weeks (herbs break down much more quickly in powdered form), and take at least four capsules at a time as they aren’t as concentrated as the ones that are commercially produced.

Pulse-Dosing is where it is at! Seriously, you will get much better results with this method than you would if you took all of those herbs right at bedtime. Think about the sun going down. It’s not like a switch is flipped and lights are out. It happens gradually. Our bodies evolved for a more gradual winding down process. This is where it’s at.

Ok, so now let’s talk about herbs that can help you wind down. Some of the issues I hear about most frequently for neurodivergent people having trouble sleeping are anxiety, being stuck in their head, tension, pain and things like elevated cortisol levels/disrupted circadian rhythms. There are herbs that you can work with specifically for each of those issues, so let’s take a look.

Anxiety / Being stuck in your Head
Motherwort, Passionflower and Skullcap are my my personal favorites here, and they also all work well when paired together. I’ve seen a number of women turn to Motherwort for the first time in perimenopause, when insomnia can be a major issue. Because I am so prone to getting amped up and it takes me a long time to wind down, I will often start with a cup of motherwort tea right after dinner and then do my Pulse-Dosing closer to bedtime. I am prone to heart palpitations, and it is really shines there as an herb that will calm the heart. It is also indicated when waking up frequently in the night. Combined with mugwort, it is well-suited for people who have a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night or throughout the night.

One caution about Motherwort though—do not use it during your period if you are a heavy bleeder. Or if you do, have some yarrow as well (at any point in the day) as the yarrow will lessen the bleeding substantially.

Passionflower is wonderful when you have racing thoughts that can go round and round in circles or get obsessive. It is quite safe, and in large doses (1 TBS tincture) it actually becomes a pain killer as well. Skullcap is excellent for anxiety that manifests as tension, especially in the neck/jaw/shoulders/upper back. If you get headaches from that kind of tension, give it a try (perhaps combined with meadowsweet for neuro-inflammation). Like Passionflower, it will help you with those racing thoughts that are keeping you awake, and they are often combined to create an even more potent, synergistic effect.

Calamus and Wood Betony are also worth considering for energy that gets stuck in the head and is having a hard time moving down (whether or not there is an anxiety component). These will both help with grounding/feeling rooted, which can be a big part of getting off to sleep. You can actually just chew on a little piece of calamus root (so maybe do that before you brush your teeth!). Wood betony often helps other herbs work better, so it is usually part of a formula and something you can be on the lookout for when checking out a  bedtime blend.

Muscular Tension
As mentioned above, skullcap is terrific for tension in the upper body, but for a more general relaxing effect, consider chamomile. You would need to experiment with how much tincture to take to be a profound muscle relaxer for more extreme cases, but as a tea if you  make it with 2 TBS dried herb (that’s a lot!) and let it steep for half an hour, it will be quite strong. Very effective for menstrual cramps too. It is just about the safest herb out there, so just about anyone can give it a try. Kava kava is another excellent choice for tension, but this one should not be used in high doses or for large periods of time. It can be hard on the liver, so save it more for acute situations like panic attacks or when you are traveling or having guests (if those things stress you out like they do me!).

Pain
There is not an easy answer for pain because there are so many things that can cause it. If tension is a big part of it, the herbs in the last section could be very helpful. Just about any herb is going to have an anti-anti-inflammatory effect, but something like meadowsweet is known specifically to lower inflammation without causing any of the damage that NSAIDS do. Wild lettuce is often turned to when there is pain that is preventing sleep because it is a nervine sedative in addition to reducing pain.

Elevated cortisol/ Circadian rhythm
​If this is what is keeping you awake at night, I highly recommend you look into adaptogenic herbs and see which one is right for you. In general, this group of herbs helps your body adapt better to stress over time. Ashwaghanda is the one that is especially known for restoring your circadian rhythm, and for a lot of women is incredibly helpful during perimenopause. It’s not actually a sedative, so you may want to experiment with when to take it to be alert during the day and then get sleepy at night.
​
However, if like me you are allergic to nightshades, you will not be able to work with Ashwaghanda. Such a bummer. The good news is that there are many other adaptogenic herbs that you can try out instead. Licorice, for example, is appropriate for elevated cortisol. Definitely use it in a formula though as it can raise blood pressure and not everyone loves the taste. (which is crazy because it’s delicious—not that I’m biased or anything…). Licorice does kind of amp me up though (and is often used by people with chronic fatigue), so I do not recommend working with it at bedtime. If you take it for a month during the day, pay attention to what happens at bedtime. When you land on the right amount for your body, it should have an impact on evening out those dreaded cortisol spikes at night.

Remember that herbs are a lot like people. You will have chemistry with some, and others will rub you the wrong way or just won’t make much of an impression. Keep trying things out until you find your friends. They are out there. And especially if you are on medications, do your research before trying any new herbs. I know the internet is not always the best place to get good info these days, so ask a trained professional if there is any doubt. Herbs are powerful, and not all herbs and medications can be taken together.

In the next post I will tackle some of the other practices you can do to improve your sleep hygiene at night and even throughout the day. Sleep is so important, and so many of us are just not getting anywhere near enough. Let me know if you have found herbal partners that have helped you sleep more.

​Note: This is not medical advice. I am a neurodivergent coach, educator and family herbalist, and I do not diagnose or treat any condition. The information here is for educational purposes only and to share my own experiences as an autistic woman.

Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week?
Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com

Autism and ADHD have a number of overlapping traits, but they are distinct. You can also have both, which is known as AuDHD. Here's what you need to know.

Is it possible to have both ADHD and autism? Yes! This is sometimes abbreviated as AuDHD and it is starting to become more widely recognized. It is a bit tricky to diagnose as there are overlapping traits for both diagnoses, and getting misdiagnosed with one when you really have the other is common too. Let’s take a closer look.

Some of the shared traits between ADHD and autism that may be most obvious are things like being unable to sit still (fidgeting, stimming, etc.), having more challenges with social interactions, and having intense passions/ special interests. With both diagnoses, there are issues with executive functioning skills, so getting through your to-do list can be harder. Frequent interruptions may be more difficult to bounce back from, and switching tasks can be challenging. Emotional regulation is also often a key issue, and it is common to get stuck in a fight-flight state of high stress, or a sluggish, shut-down state where it feels impossible to get anything done.

Until very recently, girls usually flew under the radar for both ADHD and autism. Some families still seem to find it more socially acceptable to have a diagnosis of ADHD rather than autism, but that is rapidly changing as more and more people are coming to recognize that autism doesn’t have to ‘look’ like the outdated stereotype we may have grown up with. It is not uncommon these days to meet a girl who was diagnosed with ADHD in childhood who discovered at a later point that she was actually autistic.

According to Dr. Megan Anna Neff (who has AuDHD), 30-65% of children with ADHD have clinically significant autistic traits. At this time, no one can say exactly how many of these children may have been misdiagnosed and how many of them have autism as a co-occurring condition. However, it is generally agreed on that more than half of people who have ADHD or autism will have at least one other condition, so co-occurrence does happen frequently.

How do we know that ADHD and autism aren’t really the same thing then when there is so much overlap? Well, the differences can be pretty significant too. For one thing, there are medications for ADHD. There are not drugs specifically for autism. Giving ADHD meds to someone who is actually autistic can be a really bad idea. If you don’t have ADHD, stimulants can really amp you up and may increase anxiety levels, make it harder to sleep, etc. And the side effects are likely to be worse.

But that’s not the only difference. An autistic person tends to need a lot of routine, and may tend to eat the same food every day and do the same tasks in the same order whenever possible. On the other hand, an ADHD person tends to have a high need for novelty, and may find it impossible to stick to any sort of routine.

Those with AuDHD sometimes feel like there is a tug-of-war going on inside of them. During a highly creative streak, they may start a huge project and dive in head first, only to wake up the next morning thinking “What have I done...Why did you do this to me?!?”

Other times the traits might seem to cancel each other out. You might jump into the creative project but then start organizing it and adjusting the routine to fit it in before it upsets the balance of your day. In a best case scenario, the ADHD might bring more flexibility, variety and creativity, while the autism reigns in the impulses and keeps everything more organized. It can go either way!

It's also possible that one of the two will be dominant for you. In my own case, I am autism-dominant, so that my autism is usually 'in charge,' but a hint of ADHD shakes things up from time to time. 

Understanding the nuances of your wiring can be so helpful. For those of us that need both variety and routine, being able to implement some sort of flexible schedule can make an enormous difference. Many AuDHD folks thrive being self-employed and/or working from home so that they can get these kinds of needs met.

Neurodivergence can challenge us in many ways, but it is this unique wiring that also allows us to be the innovative, creative problem solvers the world needs. Keep paying attention to what your brain is telling you. This is how we figure out how to thrive, and that is ultimately what it’s all about.

Arika Rapson is a neurodivergent coach, herbalist and educator and writes frequently about her own experience as an autistic woman. She holds a MA from Stony Brook University and has coaching certification through IBCCES. 

​Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week?
Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com

How my day got totally derailed when I was not able to stick with my routine as an autistic woman and what I did to salvage it.​

I’ve been sharing my experiences in these posts for about six months now, almost every single week, and this is the first time I have encountered writer’s block. So I ask myself—why is that? And the answer is right there. I just forgot about reality for a minute, but I’m back now.

I always write on Fridays, and it is Friday, but this Friday was different. I had to get up really early and take a ferry to the mainland to go to the chiropractor. That took 5 hours (I live on a small island). And now, someone is in the living room (where I usually write) working on our piano and so I am in my bedroom instead and I can’t focus.

I mean, how could I possibly focus with the whole day so completely out of order? With a stranger in the other room the whole afternoon? It seems so obvious to me now that this would throw me off, but at the same time it seems incredible to me that I am so completely derailed. I feel like I can’t do anything.

These days, since I am able to stick with my routine the vast majority of the time,  it is easy to forget just how thrown off I get when that order gets disrupted. When it happens I always get so surprised (like today) until I remind myself of how much I rely on the structures I have put in place in my day-to-day life. On the other hand, I have no problem recognizing the exact same kind of rigidity in some of my other family members who seem completely unable to change the order of anything they ever do. To be honest, I get frustrated by their rigidity and can be oblivious to my own.

I struggle with this reality both in my own life and as a coach, because ultimately I would love for us all to get to a place where we have some cognitive flexibility. Oooooooh, wouldn’t that be nice…to be able to make some adjustments in the moment when the day gets tweaked (because there are always some days that are going to get tweaked).

But while that may be an end goal, it is not my current reality. So my first step is acceptance. Acceptance of what this day has been and what it means in terms of my to-do list. I am not going to be able to write the article I had planned.

But as you can see…I am writing. I did a little experiment here. When I thought about writing the post I had scheduled, what felt the most impossible about writing it is having to look up all the sources to back it up because it was that kind of article. Lots of brain science kind of stuff. Today, it exhausts me to even think about having to back up every sentence I write with some hardcore science. Meh.

But as it turns out, just checking in with where I’m at and then writing about my experience does not feel hard. And the fact that it even occurred to me do it shows a kind of pivot that I don’t think I would have been able to make in the past. Perhaps I am getting some cognitive flexibility after all!

I am choosing to celebrate that as a small win for myself. And come to think of it, it is also a win that I did not push myself to write the other post when it truly was optional (this is my own blog after all—there is no employer pushing their agenda down my throat). Again, in the past I absolutely would have pushed myself to stick with the plan at all costs. But why? I think I get afraid that if I change anything in my structure, everything will fall apart. But it’s just not true.  So it’s time for me to change that narrative.

This is going to end up being a shorter post than usual, which initially sent another flashing red light to my nervous system, but I’ve decided to override it. A shorter post doesn’t have to be a problem if I can simply embrace the reality of the moment, celebrate my choice to stick with honesty and real experience, and accept that it is enough.
​
We are always enough. Life continues to be challenging, and some days get derailed, but it’s ok. We are always enough.

​Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week?
Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com

Personal musings on the reality of making dietary changes when you are autistic

Ok, I’m going to start off with a confession. Last year I cancelled my colonoscopy after I found out I would have to go on a very particular diet for five days. I had a panic attack. I was convinced that I would be unable to sleep during that time and I was also worried about passing out (I do have very low blood pressure and I rely on crunchy food like nuts throughout the day for proprioception, among other things).

Usually, people tend to think of me as very health conscious and I don’t think it’s apparent that being autistic plays a role in my dietary choices. But on this occasion, I received some very raised eyebrows when I announced I was cancelling for this reason and I felt like I was seen as irresponsible. To be clear, I did not have a compelling health reason to get a colonoscopy—it’s just now recommended at the age of 45. For me, what it would have cost me felt like too high a price to pay for preventive care.

It’s a delicate subject to bring up diet for individuals with autism. I mean…it’s complicated. Autistic folks are known for their restricted diets. We tend to eat the same foods every day and can have a certain rigidity when it comes to introducing new foods or making dietary changes of any kind.

But…we are also a population that could potentially really benefit from tweaking our diets in certain ways. We are much more prone to GI problems than the general population and have higher levels of anxiety, for starters. And those are both areas where diet can be really impactful. The question for me is, how realistic is it to expect an autistic person to make substantial changes to their diet?

Well, speaking from my own experience, I have to say that there is certainly an ‘extra challenge level’ here. While going on a diet like the Whole30 (where you cut out all the bad stuff and the most common allergens for 30 days) is probably the fastest and most efficient way to figure out what foods might be problematic for you, that was simply not an option for me. Waaaaaay too many changes at once. I need time!

It’s not that I was unwilling to make changes, but rather that I am so sensitive to what I eat that I simply could not figure out what I would eat instead if I removed so many other things at the same time. And if I’m not eating enough, I’m not going to sleep, and then all the dominos are going to start knocking over and all hell breaks loose…

So, because I  had issues I was looking for improvement on, I instead I tried removing things one group at a time. This takes much longer, and it is not a perfect system. For example, since so many people are allergic to both gluten and dairy, if you just remove gluten and not dairy, you may still have a lot of symptoms since you haven’t removed all the potential irritants. In my case, that meant having to actually test for dairy twice. Once while I still was eating gluten, and then again years later when I was already gluten free.

But, it is the method that I could manage, so I went with it. I could go at my own pace and just do a new test of a potentially problematic food at a time I had the bandwidth to do so. I think I actually have a weird advantage here: I have been more committed to experimenting slowly with dietary changes than most people due to my high pain levels. I mean, if someone is just having low grade heartburn or they are a little gassy, it can be hard to find the motivation to go a month without cheese. I mean—cheese! There are so many gluten free options out there these days, but there is really no substitution for cheese.

When pain is at times keeping you up an entire night though, that’s another story. Unfortunately most of us have a hard time mustering up the willpower to deprive ourselves of beloved food items unless our symptoms are so abysmal that we become desperate and willing to try anything. At least that’s been my experience!

I do think people tend to forget that their mental health is also closely tied with GI health, and I wonder if being more aware of that would help people feel more motivated to address their gut issues. I was  talking to an AudHD woman a while back who has had depression on and off her whole life, and she was telling me how bad her depression had been recently. The next time I spoke with her, she told me that she had found out she had a major intestinal infection and was also having a diverticulitis flareup. Once her gut issues were addressed, her depression went away!

That’s a good reminder of the whole mind-gut connection. In any case, I think starting with whatever feels the easiest and most manageable is your best bet. Once you have some success, you can slowly start building on that. Keep in mind that lasting changes are not typically the ones that happen quickly anyway—the autistic tendency to make changes slowly can actually be an advantage here.

And just to be clear about gluten and dairy—they are not necessarily the enemy. Yes, they are by far the most common food allergens for all people, and gluten in particular seems to be problematic more often for autistic folks (although we need better studies to confirm that), but you won’t know for sure if you have problems unless you remove them from your diet for a month or more. If you would rather start with something you absolutely know is bad, look at your sugar intake. That’s a no brainer.

If you have a sweet tooth, simply switching from sugar to honey is pretty painless (especially if you bake and can make your own desserts). I know not everyone has the privilege of having time to bake, but if by chance that is your special interest, you’re in luck! Sugar is highly inflammatory, but honey is anti-inflammatory.

If baking is not your thing or there’s just no time, look for items sweetened with honey, monk fruit, coconut sugar or stevia since most other sugar alternatives and artificial sweeteners are also going to be inflammatory like sugar. Check out the Mint Chocolate Honey Patties by Heavenly Organics, any of the Honey Mama products.

These are what I call “gateway foods” to help you transition to healthier options while still getting a delicious treat (assuming those products are not problematic for you for other reasons).

If you are going to try going gluten free, brands like Simple Mills have so many convenient products like crackers, cookies and baking mixes that are truly yummy and easy to find in grocery stores. And you can still have rice and quinoa! Or bake with almond flour! Truly there’s never been a better time for flourless chocolate cake. Personally I like making a side of spaghetti squash with dinner as an alternative to pasta, and it’s super easy to prepare.

The other side of this issue I want to get into is not having enough variety in the diet. This is a legitimate concern raised in regards to autistic people trying out any kind of restricted diet since they often have a restricted diet to begin with. Nutritional deficiencies are a concern. The truth is that most Americans have nutritional deficiencies for multiple reasons. Processed foods with empty calories is one reason, not to mention that modern agricultural practices have seriously depleted our soil of nutrients. Eating a carrot today is not going to give you nearly the nutrition that a carrot from 100 years ago would have.

So what kinds of things might indicate a nutritional deficiency? Actually, a lot of things we associate with neurodivergence could also be associated with nutritional deficiencies—things like brain fog, inability to focus, decreased energy, aches and pains, depression, anxiety, dyeregulation….you name it. The good news is that by addressing potential nutritional deficiencies we may actually see a substantial reduction in the more challenging aspects of being neurodivergent (without losing the aspects that make us awesome!).

So how do we tackle that? Well, growing your own veggies is one option for better quality soil (another privilege that not everyone has access to though). But an even simpler option is just drinking more tea. Tea will put minerals back in your water, and any tea that you drink is going to have an assortment of vitamins, minerals and nutrients that your body needs.

So pick something tasty! Add some honey to it! For anyone who really is having a hard time adding more healthy foods to their diet, this is a great way to go.

Some herbs, like nettle, are so packed with the good stuff that some people take them in lieu of a multivitamin or to make up for missed veggies. To get the most out of it, prepare the tea before bedtime and then let it infuse overnight. You can reheat it or not in the morning. Even herbs like peppermint are full of vitamins and minerals!

And while food and herbs are always preferable to supplements, there can be a place for those too. Something like vitamin D in particular—we just don’t spend enough time outside in this day and age to get nearly enough from the sun, so I think it makes sense to supplement that. Personally, I also supplement good quality magnesium and b vitamins too for my nervous system, muscular tension, brain function and energy levels, no matter what else I am eating/drinking.

At the end of the day, it is totally up to you whether it is worth it to experiment with dietary changes. But if you are really struggling with some of the issues mentioned above and have not found other strategies to be effective, or you are interested in improving your long term health, it’s definitely worth considering.

Start with something small that doesn’t feel impossible or would stress you out too much. Figure out what works for you. Give it a month. Take notes on how you are feeling each day, and be sure to track the areas where you are struggling most. Look at the data at the end of the experiment (this is where those analytical skills really pay off) and then decide if you want to keep going or not. I’d love to hear how it goes!
​
Note: This is not medical advice. I am a neurodivergent coach, educator and family herbalist, and I do not diagnose or treat any condition. The information here is for educational purposes only and to share my own experiences as an autistic woman.

​Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week?
Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com

A look at the challenging  health impacts that often accompany neurodivergence , as well as the most impactful interventions.
​
There tends to be a lot of focus on the social or executive functioning challenges associated with neurodivergence, but less discussion on other health co-morbidities so many of us live with (especially those with autism). That’s surprising given that the vast majority of people on the spectrum have problems relating to sleep (a huge factor for good health) and GI issues, not to mention things like migraines, anxiety, allergies and having co-occurring ADHD, dyslexia, etc.

For those who mask (more often associated with women but it’s not always binary), the health issues tend to be more pronounced. While a male is said to be more likely to externalize their distress (perhaps with a violent outburst), women are thought to be more likely to internalize it and have it show up (sometimes much later), as an upset stomach, migraine, anxiety, etc. While it doesn’t always play out that way, I have certainly found it to be true in my own life.

Personally, the health challenges associated with my autism have been the most challenging and debilitating aspects of being autistic. I mostly think of my autistic brain as an advantage (except when my thinking gets too rigid/inflexible), but there is no clear advantage to having migraines that completely derail my day, allergies that have kept me indoors for months at a time (thankfully those days are over), or getting an injury from EDS that can have me limping for weeks and interfering with my sleep.

The severity of my health issues is what initially motivated me to take classes in holistic herbalism. My sensitivity to pharmaceuticals led to some truly nightmare scenarios, but the upside was that this pushed me towards experimenting with herbs, and that was a real turning point for me. I finally began making some headway with my health, and over time my capacity to take on more began to grow.

I don’t have it all figured out. And now that I am going through perimenopause, there are new wrenches thrown into the mix that at times leave me floundering and clueless (and sometimes howling in pain). But I have been so encouraged by the tangible changes in my health that I eventually decided to formalize my training as an herbalist so that I could offer more meaningful support to others. Not everyone is going to have the same symptoms that I have, so I wanted to get  broader training.

While this training is ongoing (and for an herbalist it is a lifelong journey), I have now completed my training as a Family Herbalist and am partially through the Community Herbalist program with Commonwealth Holistic Herbalism. I love this school so much. In this age of misinformation, it has been so empowering to connect with a system that is genuinely helpful and it has changed my life.

I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my healthcare costs are exorbitant compared to my income for the last 10 years, but at least by going to herb school it doesn’t feel like money down the drain. It is an investment in my health and a future where I can offer support to others who are struggling in similar ways. Because the healthcare system in the US has become so incredibly dysfunctional, I am also motivated to do whatever I possibly can to have as little to do with that system as possible and to be able to assist others with the same goal.

It’s not just the costs. Sure, you pay an arm and a leg for healthcare (especially if you are self-employed), but it’s becoming more and more the norm for insurance companies to simply deny any claim that is sent to them the first time around. You spend hours on hold, trying to get through to a real human, only to then be told you have to call this other number instead, and on and on and on.

This kind of crap is one of my very worst triggers. As if the health issues you are dealing with aren’t enough on their own, you then have to commit hours of whatever time you have left sorting through these hassles. It becomes a job in itself, except they take your money rather than paying you. And you can’t quit unless you just want to pay all of bills yourself.

So it is incredibly meaningful to me to have some tools now that help me to minimize my involvement with that kind of hell. Initially this article was going to be a nutshell of some of the most important interventions I’ve learned for neurodivergent folks to navigate their health challenges, but  I’m realizing I will need to break this up into many smaller articles in the coming months to give each area the attention it deserves.

For now, let’s just say that there are some key areas to look at in your life before you even turn to herbs that are having major impacts on your health, and that doing an inventory of where you are at and what you have some control over changing is time well spent.

The main things to be looking at are:

• Your diet
• Sleep habits
• How you manage stress and
• How much movement you are getting in your life

Knowing where you have deficits and if you have any control over those deficits is critical. For example, if you have little kids and it is not possible to get any more sleep right now, you can start looking at some of the other areas and seeing what you do have some control over. Like how much sugar are you consuming daily? You do have some control over that. And since sugar is highly inflammatory, it may be a good time to switch to honey when possible.

Neurodivergent people may be more likely to be facing challenges with their health, but that doesn’t mean we have to be victims and are just stuck with it. We can’t change everything, but there are a number of issues that can be greatly improved with some lifestyle tweaks. If you are autistic, you may do best by incorporating small changes gradually over time so as not to get overwhelmed. If you have ADHD (or are more ADHD than autistic), you might find it easier to make changes but harder to stick with them. It’s a process. Being neurodivergent, you are likely going to do best when you go your own way and focus on what works for you, rather than trying to adhere to a system that’s been designed for the masses.

You can get started right now by looking at those four areas in your life, doing an inventory of where you have deficits, and figuring out where you can realistically make adjustments. Lean into your strengths! If you are sedentary in nature, you might be a rock star at meditating for long periods of time. If you love to cook and your baked goods have you in over your head in calories, use those baking skills to figure out the yummiest alternatives with healthier ingredients! If you can’t sit still for long periods of time, lean into sports/exercise that you enjoy. Each weakness you think you have can be turned into a strength.

The point is that lifestyle changes need to be realistic and sustainable. If the changes feel like torture, then you might as well just stick with your health problems. But if your health is making you miserable and interfering with your goals, it’s time to consider some changes. Start with something that feels easy, and then you can build on your successes. Believe me, there is nothing more motivating than having less pain and more bandwidth to do what you love!

DISCLAIMER: This is not medical advice. As a neurodivergent coach, Family Herbalist and autistic woman, I write for educational purposes only and to share my own experiences with neurodivergence.

​Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week?
Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com

Trying to figure out the differences between neurodivergent coaching and psychotherapy can be confusing. Here's a quick guide to see how they compare.

Have you been looking for support but are unsure of whether coaching or therapy is a better fit for you? It can be confusing to sort through all the differences between the two, but there are some clear differences that can help you figure out which modality best meets your needs. This discussion pertains to how things are set up in the US, so it may be different if you live in a different country.

Let’s start with therapy. Therapists are going to at least have a master’s degree and their specialty is to work with deep-seated issues in the psyche. In a session, this typically involves extensive discussion about past events, especially early childhood. The therapist does not generally make overt suggestions for lifestyle changes, but creates a space for the client to come to their own conclusions.

A time when a therapist would be a better choice than a coach would be if there are issues in the past that need to be worked through, especially if abuse was involved. Or if the individual has complex psychological diagnoses that are beyond the scope of the coach’s training. Some therapists incorporate coaching elements into sessions, so it may be possible to focus on some current challenges as well (depending on the therapist).

Often a large chunk of the costs of therapy may be covered by insurance, although not all therapists accept insurance and you may have to pay out-of-pocket anyhow to get the therapist you want. There can be long waiting lists for therapists (especially neurodivergent ones). Possibly years.

Technically a therapist can diagnose something like autism but will not tend to do so unless they feel they are qualified to do so—if they are not specifically trained in neurodivergence, they may be hesitant to do so. More often a diagnosis comes from a psychiatrist (who is also the one you go to if you are looking to get on medication).
Coaching focuses primarily on the here and now and the future you are building towards. It’s not that the past is irrelevant, it’s just not the primary focus. It addresses those Achilles’ heels that hold us back. A coach is able to give you direct feedback on what they think would be helpful for you (unlike a therapist), and will (hopefully) be working collaboratively with you to address your goals.

Neurodivergent coaches often focus on things like nervous system regulation, boundaries, unmasking, customizing your environment to better meet your sensory needs, navigating employment and relationships, dealing with/preventing burnout, time and energy management (as well as other executive function challenges) and navigating chronic health issues if applicable.

A coach can not give you a formal diagnosis, although helping you figure out your unique wiring and discussing the pros and cons of getting diagnosed is absolutely an area a coach should be able to help you with.

With coaching, you have to pay out-of-pocket (although some employers will compensate you for it so it’s always good to ask). The state does not regulate it, which means the level of training coaches have varies dramatically and it is up to you to do your homework on a prospective coach to see if their training/background matches your needs.  

The lack of red tape in coaching can also be an advantage.  You probably won’t have to spend years on a waiting list. Also, consider that someone who has lived through and come out the other side of autistic burnout is not going to be qualified to be a therapist, but as a coach they are still able to get out there and share a lot of useful tips for folks currently going through or are heading towards the same kind of burnout.

These days, a lot of the neurodivergent community is fed up with so called ‘experts’ who do not lived experience with neurodivergence and still think they have all the answers for you. We are coming to a place where lived experience is considered an essential component (although I would argue that education and training are always desirable as well).

Another thing to consider is the time commitment that may be involved. Theoretically, therapy or coaching could go on indefinitely, and sometimes does. But expert coaching is better suited for short term goals as it is not realistic to expect you can unpack your whole childhood in a few months of therapy. 

When coaching is done long term, it is usually because you began by focusing on one issue, and that issue evolved to other areas of focus over time. Life does have a way of continually presenting new challenges! So while coaching may cost more upfront, it’s also possible that you can do it for shorter periods of time or just during particularly challenging times. 
​
In short, there is a time and place for both therapy and coaching. A key question to ask yourself if you are trying to decide between them is if you feel it is more important to work through events in your past or to focus on the present and future. Finding the right person is key, even if you have to wait for it. Do your homework, ask the questions that really matter to you, and don’t feel obligated to stay with someone who is not the right fit for you. Finding the right support can be truly life changing, and it’s worth taking the time to figure out what best fits your needs.

Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week?
Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com