6 ways to Improve Sleep that Actually Work

Having trouble sleeping? You’re not alone. Here are my six favorite practices for neurodivergent folks that really help.

There are a lot of people writing a lot of things about sleep these days, and there’s a good chance this isn’t the first article you have read in the last year on how to improve your sleep. I’m going to assume that you are already aware of how many of us are simply not getting enough sleep (neurodivergent folks in particular), and just get right to the heart of which things I have found most helpful. If you’re looking for something more in-depth about why neurodivergent people in particular struggle with sleep, click here for an in-depth article from Neurodivergent Insights.

Here are my top tips:

1.) Re-establish your circadian rhythm. Herbs like ashwaghanda can really help with this, but if you are allergic to nightshades that is not going to be an option for you (sorry about that—I’m allergic too). Another way to do this that won’t cost you anything is to go out and see the sunrise every morning. I finally got around to trying this earlier this year (I really had no excuse not to because these days I work from home 95% of the time). It takes about 15 minutes total to walk through the woods to where I can really see the sun (assuming it’s not all clouded over) and then back to the house.

Wow! This really works. I noticed a difference within days. It was especially helpful for me in falling asleep sooner. I’m still waking up some during the night, but getting to sleep a lot sooner goes a long way. My husband and I typically have our coffee/tea on the sofa together when we first wake up, so we are simply cutting that a little shorter and continuing to talk and go at our own pace as we make our way towards the sun.

In a few months, the sun will be up before we are, but my understanding is that if you get out in sunlight for 10-15 minutes at least before 10 am you will still get these benefits. I’ll keep you posted!

Of course mornings are not always this leisurely and this is not realistic for everyone. On days when I have to be out and about early, I do try to find a few moments to at least connect with the sun. Where is it? If I’m outside, can I feel it on my face? If I’m driving, I know I have a tendency to see it as a nuisance (I am very sensitive to light) and get annoyed if the sun is in my eyes. But this practice of taking a moment to connect with it instead of experiencing it as an obstacle has really helped me.

Whatever chaotic, stressful events may be happening in my morning, there’s the sun, just doing its thing. Connecting with that helps me not get too caught up in that stress and remember that I am part of something much bigger. Aligning with the sun’s predictable rhythm is regulating and grounding. And that’s good for good sleep!
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If you can’t get outside before 10, getting out during your lunch break or whenever you have a break in the day will also be helpful. Natural light sends powerful cues to our body that it is time to be awake and active. The more of those cues we get, the more receptive we will be to the cues for when it is time to slow down and get some sleep.

2.) Avoid getting amped up before bedtime - When I was a little kid, my dad would come into our rooms at bedtime and we would kneel beside the bed and say our prayers with him. In retrospect, I don’t think this was the best time of day to do that, sweet a the gesture was. I would start thinking about all the problems in the world and everyone who needed help and I would lie in bed and worry about everything.

Now that I am an adult, I have learned that what I need in the evening is to focus on things that are going to help me wind down. It is going to take me a while.

Something that has really helped me is coming up with my cut-off point in the evening for when I will use electronics. That includes phone calls, texting, social, media, email….everything! I am like a little kid who can get really amped up and then have a lot of trouble winding down. Unexpected news, whether positive or negative, can make me really hyper in a way that is not conducive to sleep! And while almost every email I get is pretty ho-hum, it only takes one to get me going, and that’s one too many. So I am pretty strict about adhering to this time. I also start transitioning with books or audiobooks. After a certain point in the evening, even the books need to be more on the calming side. A little bit interesting, but nothing too suspenseful. History books are my go-to.

3.) Make your room dark at bedtime. My room is a dark place. My phone does not go there. I do have Alexa, and this is how I play audiobooks before sleeping. But even Alexa I have tucked away, out of sight, so there is no little beam of blue light visible anywhere. The light on my HEPA filter  has also been covered (just be sure to check for when the filter needs replacing if you do this). I do not have blackout curtains because of my severe dust allergies, but when it starts getting light later in the evening and earlier in the morning (we’re just at the beginning of that season now), I sleep with an eye mask that keeps me in total darkness.

The darkness is so important. Light suppresses our melatonin, which cues our sleepiness. But if you are neurodivergent and have sensory processing issues that involve sensitivity to light, this is even more important. I would say critical. I know a lot of people scroll on their phones in bed and that this is especially problematic because blue light is the one that suppresses melatonin the most. If this is a habit you just can’t break, at least adjust your phone settings to block blue light at night.

This process of it getting dark should ideally happen before bedtime. It does get dark gradually outside, so you can simulate this by using light dimmers or just less light in general after a certain time in the evening. And again, be sure to use blue light filters on your screens if you must use screens.

4.) Heating Pad in Bed. This is a 2-for-1. Tension can keep you awake, and heat relaxes tension. But a heating pad will also help energy descend from your head down into your body. A lot of neurodivergent people get stuck in their heads, with thoughts swirling around in circles, keeping us up for hours on end. I find that putting the heating pad just below my neck and covering most of my back is a very effective intervention. As the blood rushes to my core, it feels like a stopper is released from my head so that everything that was stuck up there can finally trickle down. Ahh! Then the sleepiness follows.

5.) Pulse-Dosing Herbs Before Bedtime. If you didn’t read my article last week, that was what it was all about. You start with some tincture with your sleepy-time herbs an hour before bedtime, then a half hour before, then right at bedtime. This allows for a more natural and gradual slowing down process. A lot of people find it helpful to set a timer for when to start pulse-dosing. You can customize your herbs depending on what your specific issues are—there is not a one-size-fits-all herb that is good for everyone and everything. Read the last post for how to find the right herbs for you.

6.) Have a Plan for Waking up in the Night - If you do wake up in the night, it can make all the difference if you have a plan in place. The important thing is that you don’t lie there letting your thoughts go all over the place, worrying about how awful everything is going to be in the morning because you haven’t gotten enough sleep. Instead, you need to occupy your mind with other things to help it go back to sleep and not trapped in worry-mode. Here’s the protocol I use.

First, I have my go-to herbal tinctures or capsules on the bedside table. Then, I’ll pull up an audiobook on Alexa, one that I’ve heard before, has a calm narrator whose voice has a steady volume, and is just interesting enough but not riveting. This is similar to my night time routine with audiobooks, but in this case I prefer a book I have heard before so that I won’t be worried about missing anything when I fall back to sleep.

My very favorite trick though is this alphabet word game. I don’t even know what this technique is called or who came up with it. But it works so well when I wake up in the middle of the night!

I choose a letter of the alphabet, then start coming up with words that start with that letter. I go through the vowels in order. So, for example, If I choose ‘B’ and start with the vowel ‘A,’ the list might be ‘baby, baboon, babble, back, bad, baffle, bag, baggage, ball, banana….’ and so on through the alphabet. Then I move on to B-E words, then B-I, then B-O, etc.

It can take a while, but the alternative for me might be staying wide awake for hours (especially now that I’m in perimenopause). This is much better.

It does take some trial and error to figure out which practices are going to help you the most, but the good news is that there is bound to be something helpful out there if you are willing to do some experimenting. The key is getting convinced that yes, sleep is actually really important and that your body is doing all sorts of critical jobs while you are conked out in bed. Believe it. And if you find something that really knocks you out (oh dear, I think that’s a pun…), feel free to leave a comment below. We can always use more tools in our toolbox!