 Out-of-the-box thoughts on how to get better at shifting gears as an autistic person.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how hard it is to shift gears from work to downtime as an autistic person, and what that means in the bigger picture. My first question is whether or not it’s really ‘ideal’ to take time off the way everyone else does. After all, there is nothing in the natural world to suggest that we should work eight hours a day five days a week and then have a two day weekend, along with a two week vacation at some point in the year. That’s not the way the natural world works…it is based on seasons, on cycles. Think of winter—that’s three moths of resting! But of course hardly anyone can simply pick and choose when and how to take time off, although some of us (and some more than others) do have agency over certain areas in our life and can cut out ‘nonessential’ things at our discretion. I tend to work a handful of hours seven days a week for months on end because I have some chronic health issues that make it necessary for me to spread my work out. But because I can’t pile up too much on any one day, it ends up taking me the whole week to get everything done. But perhaps this is also a more efficient way for me to work since shifting gears is so energy intensive for me? I think it usually works for me to take at least partial breaks less frequently than neurotypicals do, but to then break for longer (if at all possible) when I do. If we were able to identify our natural rhythms and structure our lives accordingly, how much burnout could that potentially reduce? I think quite a bit. But what about when it is time to shift? Are there things that can make that easier so you don’t lose so much energy in the transition? I was recently listening to the Divergent Conversations Podcast, and Dr. Megan Anna Neff (who has AudHD) was talking about the last time she tried to go on vacation. If I’m remembering correctly, I think she said it took her a few days to shift gears and that she was very dysregulated in that time that she was supposed to be enjoying so much. Boy can I relate to that! When the inevitable time to shift comes, I flounder like a fish out of water, totally out of sorts, unsure of what to do with myself. I’ve written before about how modern life runs like a factory assembly line, and I think those of us who are autistic are especially susceptible to getting sucked into it because the rhythm of the cultural ‘assembly line’ is so strong. It’s like having a script that tells us what to do, and that can be helpful. When we step away from the metaphorical assembly line, we get kind of lost, even though we are exhausted and there is no way we could keep up that assembly line rhythm indefinitely. When I was younger, I would still be operating in the exact same fast paced mode when I wasn’t working—speed reading, power walking, talking a mile a minute…I would just alternate back and forth between high speed and crashing. By my late 30’s, my body literally could not maintain that pace. It was so painful to read that I had to mostly stop reading for YEARS while I tried to retrain my eyes to read more slowly. Same thing with walking. But I just didn’t know how to slow down and so it was always either ON or OFF. Nothing in-between. That makes me wonder how many of us could benefit from writing ourselves a ‘script’ for our down time? What I mean by that is to intentionally and thoughtfully consider what we are aiming to embody when it is time to shift gears and relax. Think it through. Get creative. Come up with cues for our bodies and nervous systems that will send the right signals to slow things down and enter into a different state of being. I think many of us have chosen to be self employed and work from home because overall it suits our needs so well, but one downside to that is that we have fewer cues for when it is time to relax. I am always wearing lounge clothes except when I am meeting with clients or students. There is no commute home to literally put distance between myself and my work. There are no built in transitions. So I’m starting to explore coming up with a character that I can embody when it is time to shift. I mean, what about channeling Jeff Bridges as The Dude in the Great Lebowski? Complete with White Russian? That could be fun, but I’m not sure that’s me. But I do have people and memories in my life that help me remember what it feels like to slow down. If I really think about that person, that place, that situation, my body can start to remember what that felt like. I can spend a few minutes conjuring up those memories, bring them back into my body. And substances can play a helpful role here if done right. Isn’t that what a glass of wine after dinner is for? I don’t do well with alcohol, but for me a special tea like kava that I don’t drink on a regular basis could be a starting point. Maybe I designate a particular sweater or some jewelry that I only wear when it’s R&R time. Music is going to play a huge role, for sure. What slows me down, loosens me up, cues memories of fun and pleasure? Time to get that set list going. And what about activities? Time to line up those special interests, maybe write out a flexible schedule for how you will fill the time that can serve as a ‘script’ that anchors you during that time. The key is that you have to think this all through ahead of time. Don’t wait for your vacation/time off and then expect that you will just smoothly slide into R&R mode. If you have trouble switching gears, that is not likely to happen. If you are a musician, you are probably already familiar with the idea that some musicians read sheet music, while others play by ear or improvise. I think of this approach to shifting gears as similar to the musician who reads sheet music. They have all the instructions written out for them. They practice it ahead of time. That is totally legitimate and it is understood that not all musicians improvise. If you know what kind of musician you are, you will know how to best prepare for your performance. For those of us who aren’t smooth when it comes to transition times, we too can practice. We too can create the sheet music, the script, the cues that will anchor us when it comes time to shifting. Give it some thought and see where it takes you! I’d love to hear how it goes. Would you like these posts delivered directly to your inbox each week? Subscribe for free on Substack: arikarapson.substack.com
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