When to Ditch the Label

Last week we discussed how being able to give something the right name can be a wonderful thing—it can bring so much into focus, calm down the amygdala, give us a roadmap to navigate challenging symptoms or characteristics, and help us figure out the kinds of relationships, living environments and careers  that are likely to be a good match for us.

But we all know of times when getting stuck with a label did nothing of the sort. When we are given the wrong label or a label that only tells part of the story, it quickly becomes restrictive.

I recently read an article called ‘No One Has Seasonal Affective Disorder.’ It’s well written and the guy is pretty funny, so it’s a good read, even if I don’t agree with everything he said.

He talks about how he’s prone to getting depressed in winter and thought he had SAD, and how he also thought he was an introvert and so he was staying home a lot. Unfortunately, none of the treatments (like light therapy) for SAD were helping him. Then it turned out that when he went out with a bunch of friends, he felt a lot better, which led him to doubt whether he really has SAD or is actually an introvert.

Now, my overall response to this is not that labels were the problem, but that he had the wrong labels. Still, I do think he makes some good points. As he puts it, “The downside to naming this disorder, or naming anything really, is that it gives you a narrowed view of what it is and what should be done about it.”

That’s important to keep in mind. Even when we find the right label and initially the world seems to open up, it is always possible to over-identify with a label, causing it to become limiting over time. We also have to keep in mind that even with the right label, there can be all sorts of variation within that label.

I remember conversing with a middle school girl a while back who had recently discovered she was autistic and was in the process of getting evaluated at school. She was starting to identify other classmates who she was sure were autistic. But I noticed that she was only considering people that she liked as potentially autistic. It hadn’t occurred to her that there could be people out there she really didn’t like who could also be autistic, and that it might look very different for them than it did for her. Her pattern recognition skills were solid, but they were not broad enough to include the autistic people who she did not resonate with.

If you’ve read my other posts, you may already know that I am really into plants. In addition to spending time in the forest each day and growing a number of native and medicinal plants in my yard, I’ve also been formally studying herbs for the last few years. I find it really interesting that herbalists shy away from labels when it comes to finding plants that will be helpful allies for the people they work with. For example, there are no herbs for autism, or ADHD, or anything else.

Wait, what? How can that be? You may ask. If they don’t know what you have, how can they possibly help you?

Well, again, consider how many different presentations there are of something like autism. I think one of the huge differences with autism are the differences between those who have hypersensitivity vs. those with hyposensitivity. It is an incredibly different experience to feel too much instead of too little. The things each group will need are going to be drastically different—the hypersensitive person may respond really well to herbs that are calming, help strengthen boundaries and deal with overwhelm, while the hyposensitive person may find herbs that are stimulating and open their senses to be just what they need. And many people are a combination of the two, which requires a highly personalized approach to meet their sensory needs—a mix of sensory seeking and sensory avoiding protocols/herbs/etc.

And what about if you have ADHD and autism? Someone with ADHD alone might respond really well to stimulants, but if you give stimulants to an ADHD person who is also a hypersensitive autistic, it is only likely to amp up their anxiety and overwhelm. You have to really look at each person and customize a response according to their particular needs (and herbs are only going to be a part of that—never the whole answer).

So an herbalist is going to be much more interested in your particular presentation of whatever it is that you have. And because that is the case, it doesn’t matter  if you actually have a diagnosis for something. I think often people wait far too long to start addressing their needs because they think they need a formal diagnosis to do that. But really—if you are having GI problems, trouble sleeping and get easily overwhelmed, those are the things that need to be addressed. No diagnosis needed.

This holistic approach of herbalists is a great example of when removing the label actually allows greater customization of care. A response that is not in any way one-size-fits-all, but rather crafted according to your particular needs and presentation. And especially helpful when you are dealing with a mystery illness or condition and have not really known what to do with the perplexing symptoms or challenges at hand because you thought you had to have a certain label before you could get the right treatment.

It’s funny, but in writing about all of this I’m circling back to the same Mark Twain quote I used last week in defense of labels: “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”  It really can go both ways—sometimes it is the label that is the right word, and sometimes we have to abandon the label to get a more precise picture of who we are and what we are dealing with.

The bottom line is that labels are ultimately a communication tool. Good communication should always be the underlying goal. Do what you need to communicate who you are and what you need. If a label ends up being a helpful tool in your communication toolbox, then by all means embrace it. But if the label gets in the way, then let it go. The important thing, no matter how we get there, is that we feel truly seen, heard and understood. Don’t settle for anything less.

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